So, this is a continuation of my feelings about the “friend” I speak of in “Applebee’s, Xotica’s, and POF Oh My” and “A Severe Case of the Virgin Cling”. We had what I guess you could call a “fling” that lasted from February until May. To say I’m in love seems ridiculous, but these feelings of mine are so strong. It’s probably partially rooted in the “virgin cling” type of experience I’m going through and the fact you gave me my best orgasm ever! I thought of texting you how I felt about that night we f*cked after I’d come out of the behavior center, even though I know you won’t reply. But, I figured instead maybe you’ll see this here, even though I know I won’t hear from you again soon.. or maybe never. That night you “did” me so good, better than anyone ever had, I’d never had that reaction in which my body moved uncontrollably before I reached my orgasmic moment. It was like I was chasing your d*ck with my body. I long so much for you, your touch, an even better moment like this. I fantasize that someday when you’ve gotten over the weirdness I put you through at the end while off my meds, when you’re done “playing the field” hopefully, and if it turns out that I’m the “one” you wanted all along, that we’ll be together until our deaths… grow old together… all that good stuff.

I recently posted that I wanted to find a woman to see what it’s like with a woman until this fantasy of mine with you hopefully happens. Instead, recently I contacted an attorney that had contacted me on OKC that I’d met in 2012, and I told him about my sickness and what I’d expect from him, but I haven’t heard from him so maybe he doesn’t want me now that I have this sickness. So, now I hope to find an old sugardaddy to pass the time with until my hopeful fantasy that includes you becomes a reality. I have lots of hope and I pray that if it’s God’s will you’ll be mine someday. Oh yeah, you were in my dreams recently. In my dreams you’re trying to reach me but can’t. In one you were running on a moving train trying to reach me. I think the reality is that I wish you wanted to reach me but it’s me that wants so badly to reach you.

In the event I don’t meet an old sugardaddy soon, I plan to resume celibacy.. God willing… because the few guys I have f*cked other than you don’t turn me on the way you do and I wind up trying to imagine you instead. This meaningless sex with these guys feels empty. I’m going to Mass again on Sundays but haven’t been to Confession yet.

Anyways, even if you know this is you and talk to me incognito, it would be nice to hear from you, but I’ll never know it’s you. Others have replied to my prior posts and they were fun to talk to.

And recently I did this dance thinking of you lol:

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