Last night I finally saw The Notebook (and now I get why it’s such a popular movie). Anyways, since it was set in the 1940’s I began thinking of how my belated maternal grandma would have been in her 20’s at the time; and I began to wonder more about what her life was like. One time when I was around 7 or 8 year’s old I sat and asked her to share her life story which was very interesting to listen to.

I wasn’t involved in Girl Scouts that year that we lived in Montgomery, Alabama but I had the workbook that suggested I do something like that, so I’d do activities from the workbook just ’cause, even though I wouldn’t be earning badges. We lived with my grandma Jottie Valentine Harper almost 20 years of my own life and I regret I didn’t spend more time just sitting and talking to her.

I realize now how I took her closeness to us for granted. She was bedridden with arthritis so when my Mom needed help sitting her up I’d help with that. Grandma often spoke of her regrets and how she wished she’d done things differently which was depressing to me. But, I finally realized I could have redirected the conversation to happier memories, and learned more about her, and just bonded with her. I loved her so much and it hit me harder than my family seems to realize when she passed away. I’d had a nervous breakdown and was going through my own thing too, but I was deeply saddened by losing her.

I think of her every now and then and think there really is a place called Heaven and am certain that she’d be there now. My ex-boyfriend Jason once told me that despite the fact he was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and they believed in the afterlife in a different way that if there’s a Heaven he thought my grandma would go there too. I also think it’s possible she’s visited me in my dreams the times I’ve dreamed of her.

P.S. I apologize if my punctuation and stuff is off… I don’t remember a lot of those rules. I know some of y’all didn’t get to meet my grandma Jottie whose name was short for Jocebed the name of Moses’ mother. Oh yeah my brother Mose is named after Moses. Pretty cool, huh. Anyways, if I tagged you it was ’cause I didn’t want you to miss this post and even if I didn’t tag you feel free to comment, etc. ^_^

Oh yeah, and I’d like to mention my paternal grandma Esperanza Cadena passed away the year before in 2004 which also deeply saddenened me. I have pics of both of these grandmas in my Facebook albums from the 80’s, 90’s, and the one called “A Time Before My Own”. I often regret that I didn’t think of writing grandma Castro in Michigan since we lived in Alabama and Texas when she was alive. She used to come visit us in Alabama sometimes and I went up to Detroit when I was either 9 or 10. I am certain she’s in Heaven now too.

May you both rest in peace. ❤desereewithgrandmacastro