lately I’ve felt many ups and downs, especially lots of downs. Sometimes I don’t want to go on but I know I just need to persevere… sometimes it feels like this struggle in life will never end and I’ll never have the life I’ve dreamt of… but I won’t do anything stupid like I’ve done before, I still remember the pain I put family and friends through back then … I just need to persevere and continue to have hope that someday it will get better.. I’ve heard people feel suicidal in the months around their birthdate… maybe that’s the case… my birthday is January 25th and I’ll be 35 and I feel like I’ve not accomplished anything.