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If you asked me 15 years ago where I saw myself now at the age of 33 it certainly wouldn’t have been living on a disability check with my parents.  I’m not complaining or anything.  I’m just telling it like it is.  Don’t get me wrong I’m grateful for the money and that I have a roof over my head. 

I try not to regret the poor choices I’ve made in life.  Earlier one of my friends on Facebook posted the school week decorations they put on their door.  I suppose it was a college room door.  I’m not entirely sure, but that’s beside the point.  She’s much younger than I am; and I met her when she was staffing a Catholic retreat I was at.

Seeing that picture she posted got me reminiscing about the year I finished high school.  I was accepted at South Texas Community College, UTPA, UTSA, UT-Dallas, and Oklahoma Christian University.  When I completed high school I immediately enrolled at STCC for their summer sessions but wound up quitting thinking I should take some time off to enjoy life.  Part of that desire for time off came from the relationship I began with my boyfriend at the time.  I seriously didn’t have my priorities straight because my biggest priority was to try and get on my own so he and I could have a life together.  My judgment was so poor I thought it was cool this boyfriend had spent his whole year out of school “partying” instead of working or going to school.  We wound up being boyfriend and girlfriend for 6 1/2 years until I was fed up with the lifestyle we led.  I must say the best thing that came out of those years is my niece coming into our lives.  I say that because my sister probably wouldn’t have gotten involved with my ex’s good friend and eventually wound up giving birth to my niece had I not been involved with that ex.

For many years I wasn’t very enthusiastic about getting a college education because some people such as my Dad and my maternal Grandma had gotten Bachelors degrees but didn’t put their degree to use.  My Dad earned his in Business and said he ended up not feeling at home in the corporate world.  My Grandma had earned hers in Social Work but had a nervous breakdown at some point.  I’ve heard many people feel the same way because unfortunately there are many people out there that aren’t success stories even though they have a college education.  However, now I see it differently.  Now I feel that it would be fulfilling to learn more about the subjects I’d have to take as part of the general education curriculum and the subjects in the area I’m majoring in.

I quickly lost focus last Spring while attending STC, but have decided I won’t settle for less, I won’t give up for good, I want this.  I just need to pay off my debt to return, bring up my GPA so I may be eligible for Financial Aid again, and I WILL earn at the minimum a Bachelors degree.  I need to make sure I focus on this priority.  This is slightly more important to me than weight loss.